Topsy Turvy

Today we have another installment in the Cam-Adventures of Green Floppy! These images were taken by the security cams at the local Wal*Bart, as I attempted to wheel a cart full of top soil to the checkout. Unbeknownst to me, there was a depression in the road where the water drain was, and I was steering right for it! Oh, nooooooos!

I was able to obtain a copy of the security cam video, and so I post it here for all to see. The quality isn't the best, of course -- a little choppy, and grainy, and perhaps a bit distorted -- but that is to be expected from a cam of this type. I mean, you've seen them on tee vee, when somebody robs a place, and they expect people to identify the person, right? Well, this one is kind of like that. But slightly better quality, as it is in color. Anyway, here it is!


So just remember: Tis better to pull than to push. Because at least that way, you can see where you're going!

Guest Article: Update!

This just in from the author of the previous post's Guest Article: The Day They Tried To Kill Me:

Hey, GF -- I was looking through an old diary I found, and I now know exactly when it was when they tried to kill me! I was guessing a bit early on the months, but I had the year right. The actual date was June 15, 1975. It was a Sunday and, according to this diary I found, it had been raining for the past couple of days. So that's why the water was so high -- not because of snow melt, but because of lots of rain. Wow!

Also, this diary says that the bike was purchased on May 31, 1975, for a price of $53. Holy carp! That's a lot of money for a bike! And then it gets dumped into the river only two weeks later. Crazy! LOL!

-- B

PS: Thanks for posting my story! You're swell!

Well, B, thanks for letting me post it! I think you're swell, too.

And there you have it, Dear Readers. I think we can safely say that the moral of this story is: Don't ever buy your kid a bike.

Guest Article: The Day They Tried To Kill Me

Hey, everybody -- in the comments of my previous post, the subject of falling into the river came up, and I said I knew someone who did that, and Stamppy asked if I could post the story. So I checked with the river-falling person, and she has sent me The Story. And I thought I'd post it here in its entirety. So here it is!

Green Floppy asked if I would write up the story of when I fell into the river -- what I like to call "The Day They Tried To Kill Me" -- and so here it is, in all its glory. I hope you all like it!

So, this one time, back around 1975 or so, some of my older cousins and siblings (some, but not all, of the arrowed people in this group, only everyone was a couple years older than in this picture)...


...decided that we would all go for a bike ride around town. I don't remember exactly when it was, but it was probably one of those warm days of early spring, where it's warm enough to be outside doing stuff, but not warm enough to be without a jacket or hat. Anyway, I know I was riding a small yellow bike with a yellow and white "banana seat" on it -- those were the style at the time -- and I was wearing The Most Fabulous Hat Ever, as seen here:


As I said, it was probably early Spring, which means that the snow had been melting for a while, and all the melt in town was making it's way to the Mighty Maunehsa River, as water is wont to do. Which means that the water was higher than normal, and running faster than normal.

Anyways, when you ride your bike around town, the most fun way to get back home is to go through Firemen's Park. And the quickest way to go through the park is to cut through on the cement bridge down by the mill and just below the dam. (Otherwise, you have to ride all the way downtown and up the steep hill to get to the main park entrance, and who wants to do that?) Here's a picture of the cement bridge, taken on a normal-water day.



So anyway, we're riding around town, and we get to the cement bridge below the dam, and lo and behold, it has water rushing over the top of it! Well, the older -- and, presumably, wiser -- in the group (as seen in this picture)...

...determined that it was okay to cross, in spite of the RUSHING water going over the top, and they forged ahead on their thin-wheeled bikes with their strong teen-aged legs, making it safely across with no problems. I, however, with my wimpy single-digit legs, and small thick-wheeled banana-seat bike, did not. One moment I was pedaling away, and the next -- WHOOSH!!! -- and I was floating away. The water started to carry me down the river, along with my bike and The Most Fabulous Hat Ever.

(Here's a picture of the water rushing away from the cement bridge -- and this is on a normal day! Just imagine the rushing from water going OVER the bridge, too!)


So there I am, being swept down the river, and the next thing I know, The Brother had jumped into the river and rescued me -- Yay, Brother!! And then somebody fished out the yellow banana-seat bike -- Yay, Someone!! Unfortunately, however, The Most Fabulous Hat Ever had been carried away downstream somewhere, and was never to be seen again.

And that is the story of The Day They Tried To Kill Me.

Cam In da House: Bleeaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!

Here are some pictures from my home cams. As you can probably tell, it's not quite the quality of picture that I've been able to get from that random 'Hood Cam, but I think you'll still be able to make out everything that happened to me (In my own home!) yesterday afternoon.

The first group is from the Car Hold Cam and the second group is from the Kitchen Cam. Also, there's no sound, so I'll provide the audio in text form:

La de dah de dah!

Got my red bag of groceries...

and my blue bag...

and these other grocery bags...

And that's all I need.
I guess I'll just carry everything in at once!

La de dah de dah...

Doo de doo de doo...

(View from inside!)

Here I go, up the laaaaast step, with my bags...

Wait a minute... these bags are too heavy...

Or did I maybe step up using the wrong leg?

Whoa...

Whoa, whoa!!

Whoa, Wh-- AAHHHH!!!!

*crash* *headthwack* *crash*

*static*

Edited to add the following:

Now with moving pictures!

*kermitflail*

Strangers! Strangers commenting on my posts!

What do I do?

WHAT DO I DOOOOOO??

(Also: What is a discount cat? And why does it need furniture? Hmmm... things to ponder whilst... pondering... things. Yeah.)

Edited to add: Okay, anonymous commenting peeps... You know, I've been around the worlds -- I know advertising when I see it! I'll be sending you my bill shortly. AND THEN I SHALL EAT YOU. Oops... did I type that last part out loud?