Gardening with Poof

Dear Reader,

Green Floppy apologizes for the lack of updates. I had to make a trip back to my home planet, and as you can imagine, that takes quite a long time to get from here to there and back again.

Also, I recently acquired a new service animal named Poof to tend my garden for me, and it has taken a bit of time to get him trained properly to not *ahem* where he cultivates. He is getting much better, and I now have a nice crop going of strawberries, lettuce, carrots, watermelons, pumpkins, tomatoes, and corn. Here is a photograph of Poof next to the garden. The trampoline is a motivational tool -- if there's a good harvest, I will let Poof jump on the trampoline for a whole ten minutes!


Anyway, I hope to update more frequently for a spell. If I forget to, feel free to leave a comment to remind me!

Sincerely,
GF

Green Floppy answers a question!

Okay, so inquiring minds have inquired the following of Green Floppy:

Dearest Green Floppy,

I see from your pictures that you don't really have any fingers like people do. Does that mean that when you eat, you just glom onto something with your club-like hands instead of using utensils?"

Humbly yours,
The Inquisitor

Well, dear The Inquisitor, I shall tell you! The answer is no. I do not just glom onto foods with my club-like hands. You see, like most differently-abled beings, I have specialized utensils that allow me to function in society like other regularly-abled beings. For example, here is a picture of some of my eating utensils:



Do you see how they are much larger than "normal" utensils? This larger size allows me to grab onto them better. This way, I can use a knife and fork and spoon to stab and scoop just like everyone else, and nobody hardly even notices that I'm using these larger utensils. I don't think anybody notices, anyway. Or if they do, they haven't said anything. Well, except for that one guy that one time... but nobody's seen him around anywhere since, so we won't worry about that.

Anyways, the answer is no! But thanks for asking!

Bastardo in Red

So Green Floppy recently purchased a brand new 2007 Ford Focus in the color of my bestest friend, Grey Pufftail Squirrel. (Green Floppy did not mention this before, because Green Floppy does not like to brag.)

Well, Green Floppy had this brand new car for almost two months, when one day, some stranger in a red minivan -- I am torn as to whether this stranger should be referred to as a he or a she. On the one hand, shes drive like carp. On the other hand, hes are inconsiderate rhubarbs, and wouldn't think twice about doing what this person did... I shall have to just refer to this stranger as jerkface, to cover all the bases. As I was saying -- this jerkface decided to back out of a parking space without making adequate use of their rear- and side-view mirrors, and bumped right into the back of my car. What a jerky jerkface!!

But wait! There's more!

After RAMMING into the back of my car, jerkface just inconsiderately drove off down the road to some unknown destination without bothering to stop and check out the DAMAGE that jerkface did to Green Floppy's car. Jerk!!

Here is some photographic evidence of the IMMENSE damage inflicted upon Green Floppy's brand new car by the giant jerkface in the carpy red minivan:



Look at how denty it is!! Those scrapes and circular swirly bits that look kind of like a snow angel!! And... and... there are... *vomit* PIECES OF RED MINIVAN embedded -- EMBEDDED, I say!! -- into my nice Grey Pufftail Squirrel-colored car.

O. M. F. G.

My car is RUINED!!! FOREVER!!! BASTARDO JERKFACE!!!!

*RAAAAAAAAAGE*

A Green Floppy Christmas

Even aliens celebrate Christmas with decorated trees!

The Penguin Ate Her is a year old!

Happy anni-'verse-ary to me,
Happy anni-'verse-ary to me,
Happy anni-'VERSE-ary, Green Floppy,
Happy anni-'verse-ary to me!

That's right, dear readers -- you've been enjoying my fantabulous blog musings for a whole year now! I'm sure you all fondly remember my First Post Ever, but for any new readers, you just passed a link to it, so go back and click on it!!

Green Floppy has created life!

As you may know, I, Green Floppy, an Alien, have long had the ability to create and to destroy, as I see fit. I'm sure, however, that some of you are out there saying, "That Green Floppy is one crazy mofo! I don't believe a single word of anything that Green Floppy says!" And so, for all of you doubters, I bring you photographic and indisputable proof of my abilities to create.

My first creations are something I like to call "Petunia." I have created Petunia in three colors -- because I can -- and I have named them: Pink, Purple, and Misty Lilac. Gaze upon my creations and be amazed!

Petunia known as Pink!

Petunia known as Purple!

Petunia known as Misty Lilac!

I can tell -- you are starting to believe in Green Floppy!

But wait! There's more!

Here is a little creation that I call Asteriscus Maritimus. That's Sea Daisy, for those of you who don't speak Alien. This little guy I have named "Gold Coin" after this one guy I know who looks kind of like it.

Gold Coin Sea Daisy!

Do you believe yet? No? Well, here's more proof! This is a rather complicated little thing that I call Helichrysum (Bracteantha), which is a name that is impossible to translate into non-Alien. I have named him "Strawflower Yellow."

Strawflower Yellow!

Impressive, isn't it? I knew you would think so! (Because I know many things that mere Humans do not!)

Here is another creation that I call Argyranthemum Frutescens, which is also a phrase that is impossible to translate into non-Alien. I have given it the name "Butterfly," which is, I believe, a word that any of my readers would know.

Butterfly!

Notice how delicate it looks. Nobody could possible have any fear of a Green Floppy who could create something so petal-like! (Even though you should have much fear, because I could eat you at any moment. Because that's what I do. A tiger is a tiger, after all.)

If, after all of that, you STILL don't believe in my powers, then you are just not looking! Here are some pictures that should convince even the most doubting of the doubters out there! This is a creation that I call Osteospermum, and I have named it "Lemon Symphony." Be amazed! Be VERY amazed!

Lemon Symphony!

"But Green Floppy," you say. "How can you call it a symphony, when there is only one?" Well, that just shows to go you how far superior I, an Alien, am, for I have already anticipated your question, and have made more than one! Seeeeee?

A symphony of Lemon Symphony!

There you have it! Proof of my powerful abilities!

And so, in conclusion: Aliens rule, Humans drool.

Topsy Turvy

Today we have another installment in the Cam-Adventures of Green Floppy! These images were taken by the security cams at the local Wal*Bart, as I attempted to wheel a cart full of top soil to the checkout. Unbeknownst to me, there was a depression in the road where the water drain was, and I was steering right for it! Oh, nooooooos!

I was able to obtain a copy of the security cam video, and so I post it here for all to see. The quality isn't the best, of course -- a little choppy, and grainy, and perhaps a bit distorted -- but that is to be expected from a cam of this type. I mean, you've seen them on tee vee, when somebody robs a place, and they expect people to identify the person, right? Well, this one is kind of like that. But slightly better quality, as it is in color. Anyway, here it is!


So just remember: Tis better to pull than to push. Because at least that way, you can see where you're going!

Logo of Green Floppy

I've decided that this blog needs a logo, like all the big fancy blogs have, so that readers can see right away that this is the blog of Green Floppy. I thought and thought about what kind of logo I should have: Should it be something that is distinctly Green Floppy? Should it be something that gives an idea of just what, exactly, this here blog is all about? Or should it be something more unifying, to let the reader know that he or she or it is welcome to read here, and will find something of interest here, no matter who they are or where they're from? And I've decided on the last option -- because I'm all about unification!

But then the next question is, what could I possibly find that could unify all of my diverse reading public? What is The Thing that we'd all have in common? Not such an easy question to answer, let me tell you! Well, as I was pondering, I happened to be looking at a map, and I thought: "Ah HA! Here is something we all have in common!"

And what is that thing, you ask? Why, it's roads! Roads and rivers. Roads and rivers and trees. And hills. And maybe some squared out plots of land. But that's it! Roads, rivers, trees, hills, and squared out plots of land. Because we all need roads to get from place to place (unless you have an air/space vehicle, as I do, but even then, you still have "roads" -- they just don't have dotted lines on them), and we all have rivers and trees and hills and squared out plots of land around us (unless you live in a desert, in which case your trees and rivers are more sparse and the hills are made of sand, and the squared out plots of land shift with the winds). And so, here is my new logo, a smaller form of which will appear at the top of Green Floppy's blog:


Isn't it frabulous?

Green Floppy's Visual World

As I was looking around the lair this evening, I thought it might be fun if, every once in a while, I would post a picture of some random thing that a person probably wouldn't stop to look at on account of its being otherwise un-note-able. And I thought I'd post it without any commentary, because that would make the object of the image feel Important, because nobody posts pictures of stuff without saying what it is unless everybody already knows what it is. So here is the first installment in a possibly continuing series that I'll call: Green Floppy's Visual World

[end commentary]

[begin being in awe of my great no commentary random picture posting idea]

More culling!

First it was plastic bags. Now it's plastic containers! They're out of control! Look at these pictures -- who could possibly use ALL of them buckets??

So, after a quick (ha!) installation of some rolly buckets, and a bit of recycling and/or g-sale-piling, this is what the plastic container cupboards look like now:

And these two other cupboard things were thinned out, too! (Hey, Green Floppy doesn't have any cookie sheets! Freeeeak!)

Here's the "onion drawer" with a smaller sized rolly bucket installed:

And this is under the sink, with a new other kind of drawer thing installed:

Woah!! Exciting!!

The Lair, part the second

The rest of the pictures of The Lair!

Here is kind of an overview. Grey and friends were over again, and they thought it'd be fun to line up on some of the shelves for a picture. Ha!

Here's a closeup of the far corner shelf, and then some from the other side and around the corner:

Here are some very important politicians and military men who were also over to visit:

Here are some more friends of mine and Grey's, all lined up!

Here's a shot of a different closet. The arrow is pointing at a picture of someone named Louise Hanko Peterson. I don't know who she is, but I've had this picture of her for many years!

Here is where I do computering. Notice how I'm currently reading the blog of She What Likes Daffodils!

The Lair, part the first

Here is the first group of pictures showing different views of the Green Floppy Lair!

This is what Green Floppy's closet looks like!

Cam In da House: Bleeaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!

Here are some pictures from my home cams. As you can probably tell, it's not quite the quality of picture that I've been able to get from that random 'Hood Cam, but I think you'll still be able to make out everything that happened to me (In my own home!) yesterday afternoon.

The first group is from the Car Hold Cam and the second group is from the Kitchen Cam. Also, there's no sound, so I'll provide the audio in text form:

La de dah de dah!

Got my red bag of groceries...

and my blue bag...

and these other grocery bags...

And that's all I need.
I guess I'll just carry everything in at once!

La de dah de dah...

Doo de doo de doo...

(View from inside!)

Here I go, up the laaaaast step, with my bags...

Wait a minute... these bags are too heavy...

Or did I maybe step up using the wrong leg?

Whoa...

Whoa, whoa!!

Whoa, Wh-- AAHHHH!!!!

*crash* *headthwack* *crash*

*static*

Edited to add the following:

Now with moving pictures!