GF's Visual World: Batman

GF's Visual World: Abandoned

GF's Visual World: Shadow

GF's Visual World: Chester

GF's Visual World: Don't look Ethel!

GF's Visual World: Call! Call! Call me on the phone!

The Return of GF's Visual World III

The Return of GF's Visual World II

The Return of GF's Visual World

Visual World Archive

Hey everyone! I think I'm going to use this post as a collection of links to previous and future Visual World postings (with a link to this post added to my sidebar), so that everyone will be able to easily find them all in a nice little row. Aren't I clever?

1. March 29, 2006: The Cord Thing

2. April 21, 2006: The Daffodil Thing

3. July 6, 2006: The Door Thing

4. September 18, 2006: The Tower Thing I

5. September 19, 2006: The Tower Thing II

6. September 19, 2006: The Tower Thing III

7. September 19, 2006: The Pole Thing

8. September 19, 2006: The Streak Thing

9. September 19, 2006: The Furry Thing

10. September 19, 2006: The Thing Thing

11. September 19, 2006: The Wet Paint Thing

12. September 20, 2006: The Angle Thing

13. October 31, 2006: The Stick Thing

14. April 18, 2009: The Cloud Thing

15. October 31, 2010: The Creepy Thing

#. TBA

The Penguin Ate Her is a year old!

Happy anni-'verse-ary to me,
Happy anni-'verse-ary to me,
Happy anni-'VERSE-ary, Green Floppy,
Happy anni-'verse-ary to me!

That's right, dear readers -- you've been enjoying my fantabulous blog musings for a whole year now! I'm sure you all fondly remember my First Post Ever, but for any new readers, you just passed a link to it, so go back and click on it!!

GF's Visual World

Green Floppy has created life!

As you may know, I, Green Floppy, an Alien, have long had the ability to create and to destroy, as I see fit. I'm sure, however, that some of you are out there saying, "That Green Floppy is one crazy mofo! I don't believe a single word of anything that Green Floppy says!" And so, for all of you doubters, I bring you photographic and indisputable proof of my abilities to create.

My first creations are something I like to call "Petunia." I have created Petunia in three colors -- because I can -- and I have named them: Pink, Purple, and Misty Lilac. Gaze upon my creations and be amazed!

Petunia known as Pink!

Petunia known as Purple!

Petunia known as Misty Lilac!

I can tell -- you are starting to believe in Green Floppy!

But wait! There's more!

Here is a little creation that I call Asteriscus Maritimus. That's Sea Daisy, for those of you who don't speak Alien. This little guy I have named "Gold Coin" after this one guy I know who looks kind of like it.

Gold Coin Sea Daisy!

Do you believe yet? No? Well, here's more proof! This is a rather complicated little thing that I call Helichrysum (Bracteantha), which is a name that is impossible to translate into non-Alien. I have named him "Strawflower Yellow."

Strawflower Yellow!

Impressive, isn't it? I knew you would think so! (Because I know many things that mere Humans do not!)

Here is another creation that I call Argyranthemum Frutescens, which is also a phrase that is impossible to translate into non-Alien. I have given it the name "Butterfly," which is, I believe, a word that any of my readers would know.

Butterfly!

Notice how delicate it looks. Nobody could possible have any fear of a Green Floppy who could create something so petal-like! (Even though you should have much fear, because I could eat you at any moment. Because that's what I do. A tiger is a tiger, after all.)

If, after all of that, you STILL don't believe in my powers, then you are just not looking! Here are some pictures that should convince even the most doubting of the doubters out there! This is a creation that I call Osteospermum, and I have named it "Lemon Symphony." Be amazed! Be VERY amazed!

Lemon Symphony!

"But Green Floppy," you say. "How can you call it a symphony, when there is only one?" Well, that just shows to go you how far superior I, an Alien, am, for I have already anticipated your question, and have made more than one! Seeeeee?

A symphony of Lemon Symphony!

There you have it! Proof of my powerful abilities!

And so, in conclusion: Aliens rule, Humans drool.

Blogger for Dummies: Update!

In a previous posting, I pointed out the fabulous "blogger for dummies" blog, which is far superior to blogger's own help files. Well, I've just found out that they've moved! So, for all your blogger tips and tricks, visit their NEW blog at Blogger Tips & Tricks. Yay!

Warning! Disturbing images! Warning!

The images that follow may be too disturbing for some readers, so proceed with caution...

If you think you can handle it, then keep looking. Otherwise, click away from here right now, while you still can!!

You've been warned!!

Okay, here we go...

This first image is truly horrific. This may have been some sort of traffic accident, or a mass murder, or it may even have been the result of some terrorist activity. I don't know exactly what happened here, but, as you can see, it's HORRIBLE!


Look at the carnage! There are smashed spoons everywhere! Broken knives! And -- *vomit swallow* -- I think I see part of a fork. This is simply too horrible for words. I hope the authorities can sort out what happened and put those responsible behind bars for a very long time.

This second image is even worse than the first, if you're an animal lover. So I'm putting in a second warning -- if you don't want to see animal abuse, click away from here RIGHT NOW!!

Are you still reading? Sicko! Well, you've been warned twice now, so don't come crying to me if this next image gives you nightmares!!

Okay, here is a picture of some of the worst animal abuse I've ever seen:


Whoever did this is really sick. Look at that poor bear! The're forcing him -- against his will, I'm sure! -- to hold up that piece of glass with his feet! They've turned him into a coffee table! And I'll bet that whoever did this horrible thing would often invited friends over and they would all sit around, adding coffee cup after coffee cup to the glass top, just to see how long it would take for the bear to lose his grip. And they probably LAUGHED while they did it. Why, that's just pure mean-ness. I hope they find whoever did this, too, and lock him away forever!

Topsy Turvy

Today we have another installment in the Cam-Adventures of Green Floppy! These images were taken by the security cams at the local Wal*Bart, as I attempted to wheel a cart full of top soil to the checkout. Unbeknownst to me, there was a depression in the road where the water drain was, and I was steering right for it! Oh, nooooooos!

I was able to obtain a copy of the security cam video, and so I post it here for all to see. The quality isn't the best, of course -- a little choppy, and grainy, and perhaps a bit distorted -- but that is to be expected from a cam of this type. I mean, you've seen them on tee vee, when somebody robs a place, and they expect people to identify the person, right? Well, this one is kind of like that. But slightly better quality, as it is in color. Anyway, here it is!


So just remember: Tis better to pull than to push. Because at least that way, you can see where you're going!

Guest Article: Update!

This just in from the author of the previous post's Guest Article: The Day They Tried To Kill Me:

Hey, GF -- I was looking through an old diary I found, and I now know exactly when it was when they tried to kill me! I was guessing a bit early on the months, but I had the year right. The actual date was June 15, 1975. It was a Sunday and, according to this diary I found, it had been raining for the past couple of days. So that's why the water was so high -- not because of snow melt, but because of lots of rain. Wow!

Also, this diary says that the bike was purchased on May 31, 1975, for a price of $53. Holy carp! That's a lot of money for a bike! And then it gets dumped into the river only two weeks later. Crazy! LOL!

-- B

PS: Thanks for posting my story! You're swell!

Well, B, thanks for letting me post it! I think you're swell, too.

And there you have it, Dear Readers. I think we can safely say that the moral of this story is: Don't ever buy your kid a bike.

Guest Article: The Day They Tried To Kill Me

Hey, everybody -- in the comments of my previous post, the subject of falling into the river came up, and I said I knew someone who did that, and Stamppy asked if I could post the story. So I checked with the river-falling person, and she has sent me The Story. And I thought I'd post it here in its entirety. So here it is!

Green Floppy asked if I would write up the story of when I fell into the river -- what I like to call "The Day They Tried To Kill Me" -- and so here it is, in all its glory. I hope you all like it!

So, this one time, back around 1975 or so, some of my older cousins and siblings (some, but not all, of the arrowed people in this group, only everyone was a couple years older than in this picture)...


...decided that we would all go for a bike ride around town. I don't remember exactly when it was, but it was probably one of those warm days of early spring, where it's warm enough to be outside doing stuff, but not warm enough to be without a jacket or hat. Anyway, I know I was riding a small yellow bike with a yellow and white "banana seat" on it -- those were the style at the time -- and I was wearing The Most Fabulous Hat Ever, as seen here:


As I said, it was probably early Spring, which means that the snow had been melting for a while, and all the melt in town was making it's way to the Mighty Maunehsa River, as water is wont to do. Which means that the water was higher than normal, and running faster than normal.

Anyways, when you ride your bike around town, the most fun way to get back home is to go through Firemen's Park. And the quickest way to go through the park is to cut through on the cement bridge down by the mill and just below the dam. (Otherwise, you have to ride all the way downtown and up the steep hill to get to the main park entrance, and who wants to do that?) Here's a picture of the cement bridge, taken on a normal-water day.



So anyway, we're riding around town, and we get to the cement bridge below the dam, and lo and behold, it has water rushing over the top of it! Well, the older -- and, presumably, wiser -- in the group (as seen in this picture)...

...determined that it was okay to cross, in spite of the RUSHING water going over the top, and they forged ahead on their thin-wheeled bikes with their strong teen-aged legs, making it safely across with no problems. I, however, with my wimpy single-digit legs, and small thick-wheeled banana-seat bike, did not. One moment I was pedaling away, and the next -- WHOOSH!!! -- and I was floating away. The water started to carry me down the river, along with my bike and The Most Fabulous Hat Ever.

(Here's a picture of the water rushing away from the cement bridge -- and this is on a normal day! Just imagine the rushing from water going OVER the bridge, too!)


So there I am, being swept down the river, and the next thing I know, The Brother had jumped into the river and rescued me -- Yay, Brother!! And then somebody fished out the yellow banana-seat bike -- Yay, Someone!! Unfortunately, however, The Most Fabulous Hat Ever had been carried away downstream somewhere, and was never to be seen again.

And that is the story of The Day They Tried To Kill Me.

I wandered lonely as a cloud...

Hey, Stamppy! How you like THESE daffys?

Whew!

Ahhhhhhhhhh....

This is muuuuuch better.