A Green Floppy Christmas

Even aliens celebrate Christmas with decorated trees!

Peanut Butter, eh?

Green Floppy would like to know why Kraft does not make this most delicious peanut butter and chocolate stuff available in the U S of A. It's peanut butter. And chocolate. Together! How could that NOT be a big seller??

Look at how smooooooooooth and chocolatey it is!

Why, Kraft? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

*rage*

I wanted to comment on my friend Stamppy's latest blog, but Blogger won't give me the visual verification image.

*RAGE*

GF's Visual World: Creepy

GF's Visual World: Batman

GF's Visual World: Abandoned

GF's Visual World: Shadow

GF's Visual World: Chester

GF's Visual World: Don't look Ethel!

GF's Visual World: Call! Call! Call me on the phone!

The Return of GF's Visual World III

The Return of GF's Visual World II

The Return of GF's Visual World

Visual World Archive

Hey everyone! I think I'm going to use this post as a collection of links to previous and future Visual World postings (with a link to this post added to my sidebar), so that everyone will be able to easily find them all in a nice little row. Aren't I clever?

1. March 29, 2006: The Cord Thing

2. April 21, 2006: The Daffodil Thing

3. July 6, 2006: The Door Thing

4. September 18, 2006: The Tower Thing I

5. September 19, 2006: The Tower Thing II

6. September 19, 2006: The Tower Thing III

7. September 19, 2006: The Pole Thing

8. September 19, 2006: The Streak Thing

9. September 19, 2006: The Furry Thing

10. September 19, 2006: The Thing Thing

11. September 19, 2006: The Wet Paint Thing

12. September 20, 2006: The Angle Thing

13. October 31, 2006: The Stick Thing

14. April 18, 2009: The Cloud Thing

15. October 31, 2010: The Creepy Thing

#. TBA

The Penguin Ate Her is a year old!

Happy anni-'verse-ary to me,
Happy anni-'verse-ary to me,
Happy anni-'VERSE-ary, Green Floppy,
Happy anni-'verse-ary to me!

That's right, dear readers -- you've been enjoying my fantabulous blog musings for a whole year now! I'm sure you all fondly remember my First Post Ever, but for any new readers, you just passed a link to it, so go back and click on it!!

GF's Visual World

Green Floppy has created life!

As you may know, I, Green Floppy, an Alien, have long had the ability to create and to destroy, as I see fit. I'm sure, however, that some of you are out there saying, "That Green Floppy is one crazy mofo! I don't believe a single word of anything that Green Floppy says!" And so, for all of you doubters, I bring you photographic and indisputable proof of my abilities to create.

My first creations are something I like to call "Petunia." I have created Petunia in three colors -- because I can -- and I have named them: Pink, Purple, and Misty Lilac. Gaze upon my creations and be amazed!

Petunia known as Pink!

Petunia known as Purple!

Petunia known as Misty Lilac!

I can tell -- you are starting to believe in Green Floppy!

But wait! There's more!

Here is a little creation that I call Asteriscus Maritimus. That's Sea Daisy, for those of you who don't speak Alien. This little guy I have named "Gold Coin" after this one guy I know who looks kind of like it.

Gold Coin Sea Daisy!

Do you believe yet? No? Well, here's more proof! This is a rather complicated little thing that I call Helichrysum (Bracteantha), which is a name that is impossible to translate into non-Alien. I have named him "Strawflower Yellow."

Strawflower Yellow!

Impressive, isn't it? I knew you would think so! (Because I know many things that mere Humans do not!)

Here is another creation that I call Argyranthemum Frutescens, which is also a phrase that is impossible to translate into non-Alien. I have given it the name "Butterfly," which is, I believe, a word that any of my readers would know.

Butterfly!

Notice how delicate it looks. Nobody could possible have any fear of a Green Floppy who could create something so petal-like! (Even though you should have much fear, because I could eat you at any moment. Because that's what I do. A tiger is a tiger, after all.)

If, after all of that, you STILL don't believe in my powers, then you are just not looking! Here are some pictures that should convince even the most doubting of the doubters out there! This is a creation that I call Osteospermum, and I have named it "Lemon Symphony." Be amazed! Be VERY amazed!

Lemon Symphony!

"But Green Floppy," you say. "How can you call it a symphony, when there is only one?" Well, that just shows to go you how far superior I, an Alien, am, for I have already anticipated your question, and have made more than one! Seeeeee?

A symphony of Lemon Symphony!

There you have it! Proof of my powerful abilities!

And so, in conclusion: Aliens rule, Humans drool.

Blogger for Dummies: Update!

In a previous posting, I pointed out the fabulous "blogger for dummies" blog, which is far superior to blogger's own help files. Well, I've just found out that they've moved! So, for all your blogger tips and tricks, visit their NEW blog at Blogger Tips & Tricks. Yay!

Warning! Disturbing images! Warning!

The images that follow may be too disturbing for some readers, so proceed with caution...

If you think you can handle it, then keep looking. Otherwise, click away from here right now, while you still can!!

You've been warned!!

Okay, here we go...

This first image is truly horrific. This may have been some sort of traffic accident, or a mass murder, or it may even have been the result of some terrorist activity. I don't know exactly what happened here, but, as you can see, it's HORRIBLE!


Look at the carnage! There are smashed spoons everywhere! Broken knives! And -- *vomit swallow* -- I think I see part of a fork. This is simply too horrible for words. I hope the authorities can sort out what happened and put those responsible behind bars for a very long time.

This second image is even worse than the first, if you're an animal lover. So I'm putting in a second warning -- if you don't want to see animal abuse, click away from here RIGHT NOW!!

Are you still reading? Sicko! Well, you've been warned twice now, so don't come crying to me if this next image gives you nightmares!!

Okay, here is a picture of some of the worst animal abuse I've ever seen:


Whoever did this is really sick. Look at that poor bear! The're forcing him -- against his will, I'm sure! -- to hold up that piece of glass with his feet! They've turned him into a coffee table! And I'll bet that whoever did this horrible thing would often invited friends over and they would all sit around, adding coffee cup after coffee cup to the glass top, just to see how long it would take for the bear to lose his grip. And they probably LAUGHED while they did it. Why, that's just pure mean-ness. I hope they find whoever did this, too, and lock him away forever!

Topsy Turvy

Today we have another installment in the Cam-Adventures of Green Floppy! These images were taken by the security cams at the local Wal*Bart, as I attempted to wheel a cart full of top soil to the checkout. Unbeknownst to me, there was a depression in the road where the water drain was, and I was steering right for it! Oh, nooooooos!

I was able to obtain a copy of the security cam video, and so I post it here for all to see. The quality isn't the best, of course -- a little choppy, and grainy, and perhaps a bit distorted -- but that is to be expected from a cam of this type. I mean, you've seen them on tee vee, when somebody robs a place, and they expect people to identify the person, right? Well, this one is kind of like that. But slightly better quality, as it is in color. Anyway, here it is!


So just remember: Tis better to pull than to push. Because at least that way, you can see where you're going!

Guest Article: Update!

This just in from the author of the previous post's Guest Article: The Day They Tried To Kill Me:

Hey, GF -- I was looking through an old diary I found, and I now know exactly when it was when they tried to kill me! I was guessing a bit early on the months, but I had the year right. The actual date was June 15, 1975. It was a Sunday and, according to this diary I found, it had been raining for the past couple of days. So that's why the water was so high -- not because of snow melt, but because of lots of rain. Wow!

Also, this diary says that the bike was purchased on May 31, 1975, for a price of $53. Holy carp! That's a lot of money for a bike! And then it gets dumped into the river only two weeks later. Crazy! LOL!

-- B

PS: Thanks for posting my story! You're swell!

Well, B, thanks for letting me post it! I think you're swell, too.

And there you have it, Dear Readers. I think we can safely say that the moral of this story is: Don't ever buy your kid a bike.

Guest Article: The Day They Tried To Kill Me

Hey, everybody -- in the comments of my previous post, the subject of falling into the river came up, and I said I knew someone who did that, and Stamppy asked if I could post the story. So I checked with the river-falling person, and she has sent me The Story. And I thought I'd post it here in its entirety. So here it is!

Green Floppy asked if I would write up the story of when I fell into the river -- what I like to call "The Day They Tried To Kill Me" -- and so here it is, in all its glory. I hope you all like it!

So, this one time, back around 1975 or so, some of my older cousins and siblings (some, but not all, of the arrowed people in this group, only everyone was a couple years older than in this picture)...


...decided that we would all go for a bike ride around town. I don't remember exactly when it was, but it was probably one of those warm days of early spring, where it's warm enough to be outside doing stuff, but not warm enough to be without a jacket or hat. Anyway, I know I was riding a small yellow bike with a yellow and white "banana seat" on it -- those were the style at the time -- and I was wearing The Most Fabulous Hat Ever, as seen here:


As I said, it was probably early Spring, which means that the snow had been melting for a while, and all the melt in town was making it's way to the Mighty Maunehsa River, as water is wont to do. Which means that the water was higher than normal, and running faster than normal.

Anyways, when you ride your bike around town, the most fun way to get back home is to go through Firemen's Park. And the quickest way to go through the park is to cut through on the cement bridge down by the mill and just below the dam. (Otherwise, you have to ride all the way downtown and up the steep hill to get to the main park entrance, and who wants to do that?) Here's a picture of the cement bridge, taken on a normal-water day.



So anyway, we're riding around town, and we get to the cement bridge below the dam, and lo and behold, it has water rushing over the top of it! Well, the older -- and, presumably, wiser -- in the group (as seen in this picture)...

...determined that it was okay to cross, in spite of the RUSHING water going over the top, and they forged ahead on their thin-wheeled bikes with their strong teen-aged legs, making it safely across with no problems. I, however, with my wimpy single-digit legs, and small thick-wheeled banana-seat bike, did not. One moment I was pedaling away, and the next -- WHOOSH!!! -- and I was floating away. The water started to carry me down the river, along with my bike and The Most Fabulous Hat Ever.

(Here's a picture of the water rushing away from the cement bridge -- and this is on a normal day! Just imagine the rushing from water going OVER the bridge, too!)


So there I am, being swept down the river, and the next thing I know, The Brother had jumped into the river and rescued me -- Yay, Brother!! And then somebody fished out the yellow banana-seat bike -- Yay, Someone!! Unfortunately, however, The Most Fabulous Hat Ever had been carried away downstream somewhere, and was never to be seen again.

And that is the story of The Day They Tried To Kill Me.

I wandered lonely as a cloud...

Hey, Stamppy! How you like THESE daffys?

Whew!

Ahhhhhhhhhh....

This is muuuuuch better.

Error! Error!!

OMG, STRAWBERRY?!

OMG!!!!!!


What have I doooonnnnnnnneeeee?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

GF's Visual World

Pussy Willow Linkage!

Regular readers of The Penguin Ate Her will recall my earlier post about palm weaving, where I mentioned that some parts of the world use pussy willows instead, on account of them not having access to palms. Well, Stamppy lives in one of those parts of the world (Ha ha!), and has posted some great Pussy Willow pictures! Be sure to check it out!

Palm Weaving, part the second!

Earlier I posted a picture of the weavings I made from Palm Sunday palms whilst they were in their drying stage, and here they are again, almost all dried.


A couple of the spirals didn't quite turn out right, and the fish seem to be loosening up as they dry, but everything else is drying as expected. I'll be sure to keep you all updated with any further exciting developments!

Palm Weaving!

By popular demand, below is a picture of the palm weavings for this year. I like to try a different style every year, and this year I learned how to make fish. So that's why there are so many fish!

I also made some in the "leaf" pattern (or "push-pull"), several in the "spiral" pattern, one square cone (or "grape"), a couple of "folded aura" (which is the easiest kind to make -- even easier than the spiral!), and then I had some leftover "wire" pieces (the stiff and uncoperative ribs/spines and such, that you can see at the bottom of the picture) and could have made a "wire cross" out of them, but I didn't. But I could have!

Sidebar Update

I've done some minor cosmetic adjustments to my sidebar, including adding a link to this great blog that sometimes posts old-timey Earth pictures and is called Bloggity Blog Blog Blog.

Pixie!

If you want to get serious about finding the *perfect* color for your webpage coding, I've found something that's even better than Hex Hub. (Though Hex Hub does have a page with the "Triple Hex" numbers, which seems to be what Blogger uses in their template things, and I don't see that in this new thing I've just found.) Anyway, it's this great little freeware program from Nattyware that goes by the name of Pixie. You start it up, and then as you move your mouse pointer about the screen, it'll tell you the color value for that particular pixel.

Awesome!

Palm Weaver-ing and Bunny Basketer-ing!

According to my calendar, tomorrow is Palm Sunday, which commemorates the day that Jebus rode into a town on an ass that his buddies stole from outside the gates, and then everybody who didn't have a coat to lay down, put palm fronds (a symbol for triumph and victory) down on the ground instead, so that the ass could walk around without having to soil its hooves on the sandy ground (because that was the style at the time -- to pretty up the path of someone thought worthy of the highest honour) , and then the extra fronds that they didn't need for a carpet, were waved around while people sang "Hosanna!" (which is also the name of one of the songs in the great rock opera, "Jebus Cripes Superstar" by that one Weber guy and that other Rice guy).

For Palm Sunday in modern times, people get palm fronds when they go to church. (It's a reward, like when you get a tootsie-roll at the bank, or a cow eraser at the dentist!) (Unless you live someplace that's else, where they get pussy willows instead. *snerk*) But then what do you do with them once you get them home? You can't eat them. They don't make good clothes. You can't fuel your car with them. So what then? Well, some people -- but only people who are very boring -- will just take that palm as is, all flat-like and straight, and stick it on their wall as decoration. Maybe tucked behind the corner of a picture frame, or a crucifix.

But other people -- far more interesting and creative people -- will take the palm and make something else out of it by weaving or braiding it. If you'd like to be one of the creative people:

• Here's a place that has some great online tutorials on palm weaving!
  


• Sister Cecilia Schmitt, of the Franciscan Sisters of Little Falls in Minnesota wrote a fabulous book called "Palm Weaving: The Story... and The Art" (which has a companion video and guide-sheets), and an excerpt from that book can be found here. I don't know where one can purchase this anymore. Her website seems to have vanished. Boo! Perhaps one could contact the Franciscan Sisters.
  


• And here's a place that has a list of other books to buy on palm weaving!

Isn't that frabulous?!

But wait! That's not all!

Palm Sunday is the beginning of Holy Week, and at the end of Holy Week is Easter. Easter is, of course, the day that Jebus un-died and started popping in on people and making them stick fingers in his sword holes and stuff. Well, in modern times, nobody really wants to have a party where people stick fingers in sword holes because: Ewww. So instead people hide colored eggs and wait for something called "The Easter Bunny" to bring them chocolate. But in order for EB to leave you some chocolate, you must have a place for it to go! Say, for example, an Easter Basket. And if you want to know how to make an Easter Basket that looks like a bunny and is made from a bleach bottle (or vinegar bottle, or any other similarly shaped bottle), here are directions on how to do it! And here is a sample photo!

Wow!

April 11, 2006 - ETA: Here's a link to some great Pussy Willow photos from Stamppy!

Hexadecimal codes, yay!

Ever want to try and change the color of something on your website, and just couldn't find the exact right color? Well, no more! Just scurry on over to the Hex Hub, where you'll find just about any color you could possibly want, with its corresponding hexidecimal code.

Awesome!

Blogger for Dummies

Better than blogger's "help" files!
Blogger for Dummies

Still right!

Even when I'm wrong, I'm right! And the comments here are proof of it!

Ode to a Daffodil: Have you had your Roots today?

Knife! Knife!

I hear that this "Rock and Roll Pizza Cutter" is the best thing sinced sliced bread slicers!

And apparently, you can use it to slice bread! (In swammich form, anyway.) Look at how simple it is to use -- just "rock and roll" to slice!

Here's a picture out of the package. Woah!

And here it is in action! Look at the fine cutting lines it made. And the trail mix bar things didn't stick to the cutter at all. WOW!

This device really is a cut above the rest! (Get it? A "cut" above? See, 'cause it's a cutting device, so I used a common phrase that includes the word "cut" in it. Do you get it??)

Logo of Green Floppy

I've decided that this blog needs a logo, like all the big fancy blogs have, so that readers can see right away that this is the blog of Green Floppy. I thought and thought about what kind of logo I should have: Should it be something that is distinctly Green Floppy? Should it be something that gives an idea of just what, exactly, this here blog is all about? Or should it be something more unifying, to let the reader know that he or she or it is welcome to read here, and will find something of interest here, no matter who they are or where they're from? And I've decided on the last option -- because I'm all about unification!

But then the next question is, what could I possibly find that could unify all of my diverse reading public? What is The Thing that we'd all have in common? Not such an easy question to answer, let me tell you! Well, as I was pondering, I happened to be looking at a map, and I thought: "Ah HA! Here is something we all have in common!"

And what is that thing, you ask? Why, it's roads! Roads and rivers. Roads and rivers and trees. And hills. And maybe some squared out plots of land. But that's it! Roads, rivers, trees, hills, and squared out plots of land. Because we all need roads to get from place to place (unless you have an air/space vehicle, as I do, but even then, you still have "roads" -- they just don't have dotted lines on them), and we all have rivers and trees and hills and squared out plots of land around us (unless you live in a desert, in which case your trees and rivers are more sparse and the hills are made of sand, and the squared out plots of land shift with the winds). And so, here is my new logo, a smaller form of which will appear at the top of Green Floppy's blog:


Isn't it frabulous?

Green Floppy's Visual World

As I was looking around the lair this evening, I thought it might be fun if, every once in a while, I would post a picture of some random thing that a person probably wouldn't stop to look at on account of its being otherwise un-note-able. And I thought I'd post it without any commentary, because that would make the object of the image feel Important, because nobody posts pictures of stuff without saying what it is unless everybody already knows what it is. So here is the first installment in a possibly continuing series that I'll call: Green Floppy's Visual World

[end commentary]

[begin being in awe of my great no commentary random picture posting idea]

More culling!

First it was plastic bags. Now it's plastic containers! They're out of control! Look at these pictures -- who could possibly use ALL of them buckets??

So, after a quick (ha!) installation of some rolly buckets, and a bit of recycling and/or g-sale-piling, this is what the plastic container cupboards look like now:

And these two other cupboard things were thinned out, too! (Hey, Green Floppy doesn't have any cookie sheets! Freeeeak!)

Here's the "onion drawer" with a smaller sized rolly bucket installed:

And this is under the sink, with a new other kind of drawer thing installed:

Woah!! Exciting!!